
The National Television Awards are as relevant to modern TV as a VHS recorder. The tedious, puffed-up ceremony only exists because 30 years ago ITV sulkily decided they weren't winning enough Baftas and created a gong show of their own. Essentially it has become your annual chance to vote for the 13-year-old Call The Midwife, 23-year-old I'm A Celebrity and Strictly, now in its 75th year if you include the original Come Dancing. It's the Groundhog Day awards. Or the Ostrich one. Terrestrial is yesterday; the streaming services set the pace now.
The only surprise last night was that Gary Lineker broke Ant & Dec's 23-year Best Presenter winning streak. The former Match Of The Day host used his time on stage to address the anti-Semitism row that sparked his BBC exit, saying the prize "demonstrates that it is okay to use your platform to speak up on behalf of those who have no voice". Gary still doesn't get why it's not okay to do so while contracted to the BBC, who have a legal duty to remain impartial. Certainly, it's a duty they don't fulfil with their biased news agendas, toothless satire and barking drama commissions, but this wasn't a free speech issue. It was a 'Can we be associated with a millionaire presenter who uses his social media accounts to spread anti-Semitic tropes?' issue.
The overblown, two-and-a-half-hour-long, laughter-light NTAs are screened live, ridiculously, at London's O2 and hosted by Joel Dommett, the closest ITV can get to an AI-powered cyborg. I'm kidding, Joel. As a comedian, you make a great showroom dummy.
Deserving winners included Gavin & Stacey, Clarkson's Farm, Owen Cooper, and Liz Hurley's décolletage "defying Newton's laws of physics," as Rob Rinder observed. Many 2024 gems were entirely snubbed, including Landman, Industry, Fall-Out and Wolf Hall. Any old toffee can make the NTA ceremony because the long list we vote for is supplied by terrestrial TV companies, who will almost certainly have the chutzpah to include flops like Genius Game, King & Conqueror and Stranded On Honeymoon Island in 2026. It's a miracle BBC3's dismal Smoggie Queens wasn't in the running. Stacey & Joe? Lord Reith says no.
None of these duds excite viewers like Rivals, Adolescence, and Baby Reindeer did. Serial drama? Who cares? Soaps are dying of self-inflicted wounds. Corrie, once a welcoming oasis of warm, earthy humour, is now so woke and woeful it can't be taken seriously.
The receptions for winners Lee Mack and Gavin & Stacey sent a stronger message. Viewers want more comedy and less relentless misery. I won't take the NTAs seriously until the polling process is policed to prevent multiple voting and ITV publish the figures.
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